mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
