the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
