Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
