Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Non-Jews are for practice
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
