I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
