Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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