If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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