i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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