I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
