I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
