I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
