Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
