Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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