I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
