don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize