I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
