I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
