i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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