I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
