You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left