I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening