I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
