I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
