If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
