She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
