Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
