I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
