Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Say something about gay babies.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
