She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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