do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
