are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
