You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I met the friendliest cop last night
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
