The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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