he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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