shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize