Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
