Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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