You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
