I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
