the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just forgot I was standing up.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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