I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
