it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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