hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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