I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
