Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize