dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
