i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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