I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
