shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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