I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
