I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
