you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
