I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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