It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize