I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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