im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
