The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
