A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
