areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
